God & My Hero Dose

Dosed 7.0 GRAMS at 6:20 PM on 12/19/2024 my 35th birthday.

I want to preface that this is a unique experience after 17 years of journeying and a HERO’S dose. This is not what every or even many journeys are like. I voice recorded this the following morning and slowly edited the text over a couple of weeks. Some of this will make sense to me and me alone…and some of this will make sense to a lot of fellow travelers…lastly some of this will make sense to no one LOL

Wow, what an incredible journey that was! I took 7 grams, wore an eye mask for a lot of it. At first I had some periods of stress over what I’m doing working with Mushrooms. Fears came up about being able to do this as a profession. Questions like is it OK? Is it safe to help people in this way ?? Facing these fears is really important if I wanna help people heal. I need to make sure that I’m ready for this. That I’m actually taking care of myself in the ways my body needs.

In this moment, it actually felt like it lasted forever, but it was like I was being woken up by God. The whole world around me is being shaken and this giant bell clashed onto the ground. It was the process of coming back to life, a scene from the movie, and a bomb went off. You hear the loud sound and you’re trying to come back, to realize what happened, there’s ringing in your ear and dirt flying all over the place. As you’re getting your senses together you hear this person talking to you, but the words don’t make sense. You’re confused and then they start to come together again, and it’s like every piece of advice, every overpowering word my mother has ever said to me, falling into place. It all started to slowly make sense, all the words that my grandmother used to speak about her near death experience, her understanding and her connectedness with everyone around her. It was just beautiful.This giant body was walking me through this story that my mom used to tell me or maybe it was my grandmother, my ancestors, my guides, my archangels, or all of them simultaneously…they were reminding me that this is the moment where we get up and we do the hard work, it doesn’t just get done. We have to stand up and do it. I saw my grandmother‘s face in this God telling me to shape up or ship out.

It’s about all the big things and all of the small things we do each day to take care of each other. I remember when Corey came into it. I remember seeing his face and seeing my mom‘s face as these words unraveled and fell into place. We’re all doing it now coming together, loving each other and taking care of each other. This is a new way of thinking: finding the holes in the spaces, we can fill things Opportunities and never let an opportunity go wasted.

The words are still unraveling as I am coming to. The bell shook the ground beneath me, and as I rose, my head slowly stopped spinning, and it became even more than that. It was like this initiation ceremony. In this wild moment it felt like everyone in my core relationship group was having the same experience I was, even though no one was there. We were all being awakened for something bigger and better and brighter. My grandmother had a near death experience and all the words she ever spoke about that felt like this moment here: everyone you have loved is there, I felt every single physical, emotional, and spiritual experience that I had ever had in my life all in a matter of minutes. It poured inside of me and out of me. I laughed, I cried, I moaned, I screamed, I yelled….

I saw my team, my tribe, my lineage, my future all in this grand and golden room, welcoming me. Telling me to strap up, because it’s time to become who I’m truly meant to be. Showing me every single moment I’ve ever experienced, and how it has led me to this very moment. I don’t think I’ve ever truly known what real faith is, until this moment. Now it feels unwavering. And it feels as though I can see this in others now. I saw the weavers, the planners, the lovers, the projectors, the manifests, reflectors, and generators…

It kept going in and out of: is this all just a simulation? By this I mean life: what if it’s not? Does it even matter, because even if it is just a simulation and none of it’s real and none of it matters…Then why not just try to make it better, whatever it is! I’m getting goosebumps now! It's really powerful, no matter what is happening in the world or in my life. We’ve got this and everything is falling into place as it should, and that was another wild moment.

As this awakening was happening, it was like all of these moments in my life with all of the people that are still here, are new, are gone, all of these moments flash through my body. My full body, my mind, my soul felt every sensation that I’ve ever felt sexually, while having to pee, laughing, crying, giggles, the smiles, the cries, the fears, the anger, the yelling, and it became this huge bubble.

My world became a bubbly sound board with knobs and buttons. All of a sudden, all of the pain, all the hurt, and all the beautiful things in this world became less noisy. She was showing me a new way of looking at the world. With a sense of what’s important versus what’s “just noise”. I was looking at the world in a way that I can tweak things, move things around, and I can play with it. If this relationship isn’t serving me, I can turn down the volume, or even switch it off. It doesn’t have to be so serious and it doesn’t have to be so angry. It doesn’t have to be so hard. When opportunities feel good I can turn the volume up on that channel, and I can see how to connect the opportunities in a whole new way. I can just be a support system and not have to manage everything.

There was music and there was pleasure and there was a rose color over everything. It was more like the whole world had become my whole world, everyone and everything in it and the world became this bubbly place with funny words for the mundane! I kept spiraling through the choices I’ve made, the way that I acted, and it feels like it all happened just as it should. Everything I’ve ever experienced led me here. I want to always be living in that world and without attachment to outcomes. It feels like a better, healthier place. I was empowered to find the right opportunity rather than seeing the problem. I know that’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Where is the opportunity?!

I remember, there was a point where I was thinking about the realms of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, multiple personalities, and borderline personality disorder and that maybe that’s where I was. Maybe I’d never leave because I was trapped into this other place where I think my mom and Cory and so many others have tapped into. That’s why they’re not as present because they’re living in this world that doesn’t have to be so serious and doesn’t carry so much weight. A place where opportunity can be seen, opened up, and created. I know everything's meant to be and it’s working out and we just have to see the opportunity. I’m gonna keep remembering this place, and the other realities I can tap into. I can always tap into this other realm, through meditation, breathwork, nature, and community. Like what are we doing here?

We are helping to create something beautiful, and be in community with those we love. We’re taking care of each other. We’re loving each other and this is what it’s all meant to be! The animosity, jealousy, and fear is all so crippling and that’s why we get into these places in life that feel like a hole. That’s why the world is the way it is because we allow these feelings to take over and to cause pain and hurt.

I remember it, it was such a long time ago, but I remember it was this story along the lines of being touched by God. What it actually feels like, what it means, how you know that it’s real and it was so beautiful because there’s no denying it. You know who’s there with you and it's like I was BEING for the first time. A giant bell fell down from the sky and everything was gold and had a gold hue to it. I’m there on the ground from the wreckage that felt like a war zone in slow motion. I can see large golden words forming letter by letter and as the words are unfolding, I’m beginning to understand them and hear the voices attached. So many voices that I recognize and so many that I don’t, but I know this story.

“You pick yourself up, you shake it off and you do what needs to be done!” The whole scene reminded me of transformers, Animorphs, and those 3D spiral wind chimes showing me how every single moment of my life has fit into this one and will continue to unfold as it should. It felt like so much change and metamorphosis happening all at once, and again as the words were coming and appearing in front of me with all of these thoughts and images. (The image attached to this Blog post is from @ Lak’wehAnastasia on IG and I found this 3 weeks later - She describes this as the Angels she communicates with. It is incredibly similar to what I experienced.)

Faith, I am understanding for the first time. I’ve heard these words so many times “everything happens just as it’s supposed to,” It’s all coming together. When I look at human design and how it looked a lot like the human design maps too. It brought up the understanding of the different types of people and their design and what we’re all here for. You get to know people that bring others together, creating these perfect moments in time and space. This was the most beautiful moment I’ve ever seen and literally everyone was there. The whole Power Homies team, the OG crew, my family, and it’s like we were collectively having this experience together, realizing that we were meant for something more. Like we had finally all found each other.

Towards the end of my journey, I remember experiencing some darker moments. I felt like these were warnings for leading transformational experiences. To remember what our responsibility of working in these spaces are. To protect myself and others that I bring in those spaces. I felt like there were some darker entities that I had to say, you know you’re not welcome. You’re only here to help. It felt like there were also a lot of supporters there and I couldn’t see their faces but I didn’t know their names. It was like this great hall, welcoming, and a sense of gratitude for finally being welcomed in.

There’s still so much to process here. I think some of my bigger takeaways are knowing my community and working with them. Knowing that we are here for greater good and I do feel like I’m on the right path. I also feel that I need to put in a lot more work on myself to become the version of me I want to be. It’s my responsibility to care for myself in order to support others. I have undying faith, which I’ve never been able to say before. I couldn’t or wouldn’t say the words GOD, only the universe. I’m realizing the power and gravity of the word god, because it’s indescribable. It’s so much more than the universe, it's all of us as a collective. It’s the hive mind creating and unfolding for us. Everything is for us, if we have a solid loving heart and believe in ourselves.

This is NOT everyone’s experience!!! I have been journeying for 17 years and this is my first “God” experience. Know that I am grateful, blessed, and had to share this with you.